I hope you enjoy it as much as I do (and please excuse a bit of the language).
Things only people who've joined slimming clubs will know.
1. You will wear exactly the same thing to get weighed each week. Even if it's -2 degrees outside you'll be wearing a floaty summer dress and freezing your tits off.
2. You've considered weighing in wearing just a swimming costume.
3. There's always a Janet in the group who takes 42 cruises a year.
4. You'll save all your Syns/Points up in the week so you can neck a bottle of vodka on Friday night.
5. There's always a Pauline in group who ate 8 sausage rolls at her cousin's funeral and put on 5 pounds in a week.
6. You will not eat a thing before weigh in. Even if weigh in is at 8pm.
7. You'll praise a Susan who maintained.
8. Food on the diet a bit dry? Quark. Need a creamy hit in your pasta? Quark. Broken leg? Quark. End world poverty? Quark.
9. Group leader: "You can eat a whole bag of pasta if you need to.....but you won't be able to"
You: "I beg to fucking differ Linda".
You: "I beg to fucking differ Linda".
11. There will always be one lone man called Peter in group who loses 9 pounds each week. He seems like a lovely chap but you'll all secretly hate the bastard.
12. You will be unable to poo before you get weighed. As soon as you get home....massive shit.
13. The group leader will try to tell you that potatoes cut into strips and sprayed in Fry Light are "better than chip shop chips". This is bullshit Linda. Bullshit.
14. A new flavour of Müller Light is announced and it creates a frenzy of riot proportions.
15. Linda is no skinny cow herself and doesn't follow the plan.
16. Syns/Points don't count if it's to help cure a hangover. They also don't count if you're eating them off another person's plate.
Hilarious! And I can fully relate to most of them, having been a member of SW many years ago. xx
ReplyDeleteYes it's spot on. H ave you seen the Peter Kate spoof about Slimming World, bit crude but I laughed so much. It's possibly on YouTube x
ReplyDeletePeter Kaye not Kate
ReplyDeleteI read it as Kaye!!
ReplyDeleteSooze, I can relate too, even if I've not actually done them!! I even once weighed all my jeans to find the lightest pair to wear for Group!
xx
I always wear jeans, Joy, but never used to wear them for weigh in, it was always lightweight cotton trousers or a skirt! Someone once told me you should wear your heaviest clothes when you join a slimming club and never again after that, then you're bound to be lighter the following week! There was someone in the group I was in who used to take off all her jewellery before weigh in too....bit extreme, I wouldn't have thought it would make that much difference, haha. xx
DeleteYou wouldn't think so, would you! I ought to get some lightweights to use. :-)
Deletexx
Here's another one. "If you break a cookie in half, all the calories fall out." I weigh myself (at home) in the nude.
ReplyDeleteI love that - also if you eat standing up, the calories don't count!
Deletexx