Saturday, 31 August 2019

Giving myself a bit of a ticking off

. . . because I'm going nowhere.

What follows is very inward looking and probably boring so please feel free to scroll on by!  I really won't mind.  I'm talking to me and about me, not about anyone else.  We all walk our own journey on our individual road and I'm truly not pointing any fingers anywhere else but at me.

I think the trouble is yes, I have lost a lot of weight and yes, I am in the BMI healthy banding (just, mostly) and yes, I am OK with the way I look as I dress to hide certain bulges!
I do eat a healthy and fairly well balanced diet, as much as anyone who isn't a nutritional expert can tell.
And I have proved that I can keep this weight off and maintain.  That's actually quite a good thing and gives me confidence for the future.

So there's lots of reasons to be pleased - and I am, I really am.

However . . .
I've really gone nowhere since before Mum died.  I look at my weight then and my weight now and there's only a few pounds in it (down, thank goodness).  That's in five months.  Blimey!
I've gained and lost and lost and gained but the overall trend is pretty much horizontal.  Not good enough!

So - what to do?

Well, obviously, I could just accept the situation as it is now.  It's good.  It's pretty healthy.  People who know me from the olden days don't recognise me now which makes me laugh!  My weight no longer stops me from doing things I want to do.  I can walk, run upstairs, don't get breathless quickly and my blood pressure is a lot better.  I can hide the bulgy bits.

There's a saying that I've always rather liked.

It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with 'good'.  Good is a great place to be.  However, it's just too easy to accept good when it could be better - or best.
I think that's where I am right now.  In the good place but not in the best place.  I know this particular area of my life could be better and, maybe, I am letting myself down by accepting 'good' instead of 'best'.  There's this little niggle of I-don't-know-what nibbling around the edges that tells me so.

Putting it into real terms, there's podgy bits, wobbly bits (more than I want), bits that are just a bit too much.  I know I can't do anything about the stretched and now wrinkled bits (short of surgery) but I know it could be better and I want it to be better.  I want to be a bit stronger, a bit more toned, a bit less wobbly.

So - what to do.
First of all, I have to recommit to eating healthily.  Mostly I do, as you know, but I come to Dad's three days in each fourteen and have got into terrible habits here (as you know).  One day a fortnight would be OK, three is just too much.  I've already fought lots of temptation this morning, even though I know this evening's meal will be a bit 'naughty'. 
Every time it's the same but it doesn't have to be,  It's not Dad's 'fault' for having nibbly bits and bobs in, it is mine for going for them, for saying 'a little bit of what you fancy' far too much and far too often.
I've also got into a bad habit of letting go after SW group - and believe me, when I let go, I really do let go.  Such a silly thing to have started doing.
I'm hoping this ticking off will give me some control in these areas because it really is down to me.

The other area is exercise.  I'm very much more active than I was because I can be.  I'm now enjoying walks which I never did before.  My feet and ankles have stopped hurting, my hips and back no longer ache, that's all good.  However, I think I need something more structured.  I nearly typed 'want' there but that would be a fib; I've never been that keen on exercise, sadly.
I can swim more often.  What's put me off that is the time it takes to get my hair right afterwards and that's a bit pathetic really. 
And, before I even started thinking about all this, I booked up a series of five sessions one to one with a local trainer.  Coincidentally, they start next Thursday.  I can't say I'm looking forward to them all that much but - we will see.

I want to lose just under a stone.  It really should only take me a couple of months, despite having a holiday in the middle, especially as that holiday is an activity holiday at Center Parcs.  More than that, I want to lose certainly bulges and tone certain muscles.    So what I need to decide is that I want it enough to make the necessary effort and commitment.

Here's hoping!
(and I think I might put that poster as my banner for a couple of months, just to remind me)


  1. When I did SW years and years ago, I got to a stage where I just wasn't losing anymore, no matter what, despite still having just over a stone left to get to target. My class leader said it was possible that I'd settled at my body's natural weight....I felt that was possibly partly true, but was also down to the fact that the target weight (set by SW, not by me) was very low, lower than I felt comfortable with. Could the same be true for you, Joy - that your current weight is what's right for your body? But maybe not, as you don't feel comfortable. If you're not happy, then making a few small changes and being a bit stricter with yourself should help. Certainly a personal trainer will. xx

    1. I did consider that but SW allows one to set ones own target and, I gather, intervenes if they think it is too low. I know I set mine myself.
      You're right, I just don't feel 100% right about where I am at the moment. It's not much, just a few pounds and some toning up really. I'm happy with the way I'm eating at home so that's good.
      It will be interesting to see how September goes, I think. Fingers crossed, Sooze! ;-)

  2. I hear what you're saying and for what it's worth, here's my suggestions.

    The common suggestion in the Facebook groups I follow for exactly this situation is to go back to basics. Reread the SW books, keep a detailed food diary, weigh everything, recheck syn values. It's easy to think that you are doing everything correctly, and I don't suggest for one minute that you're not, but errors creep in so get back to the as stage where you are sure.

    Exercise is the thing I find the most difficult so my approach is to eliminate any possibility of excuses. Check YouTube for exercise you can do at home, pick a time to do it, and stick to it. Change the exercise weekly, ring the changes so you don't get bored. There's no excuses about weather or the effort of going out or having the right clothes, just close the curtains (I don't like to scare the neighbours) and get on with it.

    Have you checked your measurements? The weight loss may have slowed down but your body may still be changing.

    Hope this helps. Stay strong and don't give up xx

    1. All great suggestions, thanks, Eileen. I hadn't thought of YouTube - I'll take a look this afternoon and see what I can find.

      I didn't take measurements but I go with the way the clothes are fitting. Now I don't have elasticated waishbands it shows much more clearly!

      I have just bought some proper trainers as I needed them for the PT. No excuses! :-)

      I don't think I have strayed too far from SW apart from in areas I make clear but rereading the material does sound a good idea. I shall start that when I get home tomorrow.

      Thanks xx

  3. Don't be so hard on yourself, Joy. You've achieved so much and it sounds like your body is thanking you for it.
    More exercise will help in getting more toned but, more importantly, will help you feel stronger and fitter. A personal trainer is a great idea (I expect they will focus on fitness rather than weight loss) and hopefully they will suggest ways of exercising that you will enjoy. X

    1. I do hope I enjoy it. I'm committed to five hours anyway so we will see. Thanks.

  4. You need a huge part on the back for how far you have. We could all 'do better' in areas of our life. When you are struggling on WW you go back to absolute basics just incase little bad habits have crept in. That means writing everything down, spoon licking and all. Any increased fitness levels is to be congratulated as it makes you a healthier person. The most important thing I've found is frame of mind. When I'm in the zone you can smash it. Good luck. X

    1. Thanks, Tania. I didn't mean to give the impression that I'm struggling with SW particularly, just that there's some habits creeping in (or have crept in and are impacting), especially when I'm away and also I think I need more. I'm hoping exercise is the 'more' and that it will increase motivation so I don't give in to those extra nibbles, etc. Well, not too much, anyway. I just need to tighten up all round and get rid of that last little bit. Then I can maintain! :-)

  5. Interesting, I'm at a similar stage although I haven't lost nearly as much as you and haven't been doing Slimmimg World, but my weight loss has slowed and stagnated. I have tried to have an occasional 'fast' day, as in "5:2 fasting" where you only eat 800 calories. It's boring and I know it's not SW but it has helped move things on a bit. Another thing I've tried is the back to basics above; weighing everything and counting calories for a few days.

    Sometimes you need a change; eat different foods, try some different exercise (personal trainer is a great idea) and just shake things up a bit. You have come such a long way, I'm sure it is achievable but those last pounds may be harder than the first few stone. Just a thought, but as your appearance has changed so much, have you thought about having a shorter haircut, one that might be easier to tackle after swimming?

    1. That's really interesting, Athene. I know that slowing down is fairly normal once you're near target and I'm glad your strategies are helping. I wondered about a sort of 'fast' now and again,n perhaps a two meal day instead of a three, but do you find there's a sort of 'backlash' the next day?
      The thing with my hair is that unless I dry and 'iron' it, it's enough to scare the socks off you! It's not that long, just above shoulder length, and a sort of bob style so not complex. I could never just wash and go though. :-)
      Thanks. xx

  6. I've seen it many times - people start to look good and know that they look a lot better than they did, then it gets difficult to sustain the motivation. Little 'cheats' creep in. I've been there and have been struggling for the past year. So I really do understand where you're coming from. I have been focussing hard this past month. I lost 4.5lb 3 weeks ago but then gained half a pound, and then in the third week I maintained. It's very frustrating. But we HAVE to hang in there, Joy because we know that it works. You can do it. Hugs X

    1. I think that some fluctuation is just natural and I'm OK with that, despite the 'tyranny of the weigh in' but getting nowhere is just annoying, isn't it?
      We can both do it, Eloise, I am absolutely sure we can. Just keep moving on! We know what to do.
      THanks. xx

  7. 2lb off tonight. Happy with that! X